Open Adoption With Biological Family Contact

For those who do not understand what an open adoption is, you’ll find that this is the type of adoption where you are able to have the child get information about the biological parents or still maintain a relationship with the biological parents through contact. You will find that with the open adoption, you’ll have certain options. You will be able to keep the contact open with not just the parents, but the biological family. You’ll want to consider thinking about what an open adoption means to you and to the child. There are some obvious benefits to the open adoption and there are some drawbacks.

You may end up finding that by having this open adoption you may end up getting some advice that you don’t wish to have. You’ll find that there are some times where the biological parents are going to tell you how they think that the child should be raised, and that will be hard to deal with, especially when you believe that you have the final say, but the biological parents feel that its their responsibility to see that the child is raised correctly as well.

You’ll find that there are some things that sound appealing, but you’ll also want to keep in mind that there are times where it may make the adoption harder. It can be very hard to see the biological family and also it may be hard to see the mother or father with your adopted child. You will begin to feel envious and it may hit you a lot harder than you may ever expect.

The best way to deal with an open adoption is to try to set up some strict rules that everyone can agree on. This will help you to feel like you are still in control, but also give the biological parents a piece of mind about the child’s adoption.

Typical Open Adoption

When it comes to having an open adoption you will find that there are some basic things that you’ll need to keep in mind. First, you have to understand that the biological parents are permitted to have contact with the baby and they are able to have some type of relationship with the child. This doesn’t mean that the child needs to see them or that you have to write to them. This could mean that you send pictures or that they send you things. You’ll want to think of this as an agreement to keep each other updated. You also will find that the paperwork on the parents will still be open for the child, if they want to search for their biological parents.

You’ll be the one that they see the most and also the one that they begin to bond with. Keep in mind that you should talk to the biological parents if you feel uncomfortable with the biological parents calling. You’ll want to keep some of the contact to a minimum or you may want to have an open relationship for your child’s sake.

There are definitely some rules that need to be laid down. You’ll need to talk this out before the adoption and set the rules straight. This will help to deal with some of the stress that may be caused by having this joint relationship. You’ll find that some biological parents will become very upset when pics are late or when they are missing their contact time.

Keep in mind that an open adoption can be as little as giving the biological names to the adoptive parents or as much as having real contact with the family.

Ken Mathie
Effective Parenting Skills
“How to Become the World’s Greatest Mom or Dad
Without Putting Yourself to Wit’s End In
Raising Happier Highly Successful Children!”
…more information click here

Infertility and Adoption

There are some couples who are unable to have a child on their own. They often will turn to other ways of fertility and even check out some of the adoption options. Sometimes it is a medical issue that is stopping them from conceiving. It is often devastating to a couple and to a marriage. Adoption has many benefits to these types of couples. You will be able to get a child that you love and care for, while the child gets a home that is filled with love and respect. There is a couple types of adoptions that you’ll be able to consider. Open and closed adoptions are some of your options. When it comes to closed adoption you will be able to hid the fact that the child is adopted and you are able to hide the parent’s information in order to conceal their privacy. Then there are open adoptions that will allow the biological parents to still talk to the child through emails or letters. You may even sent the parents pictures. Often the details of an open adoption are different for each case.

When it comes to adopting foreign children, you will find that these types of children are able to get a better life. They are able to leave behind some of their less fortunate situations and more on to a home that allows them to grow with a good future. Of course, if the child is of a different race, you’ll want to explain some things to the child. It’s never right to lie to a child about who they are or who they were. You’ll need to consider that this adoption is a gift for both parties and should be treated so.

Is Adoption Right for You?

When it comes to adoption, you’ll want to consider that it is the most difficult decision that you’ll have to make. You’ll want to think about the responsibility of a child and you’ll also want to face some of the good times and bad times that are ahead of you. You’ll find that a puppy is much like a child. If you think that adoption is right for you, then you may want to get a dog or cat and see if you can handle that type of situation. If you pass, then you might want to look further into adoption.

There are some benefits to adoption. Not only will you be able to use the adoption to gain a new family member, but also you’ll be able to give yourself a brand new life. You’ll find that there are many emotional benefits to adoption. You’ll also find that there is some personal growth to adoption. Adoption is something that many people choose to do because they are able to help the world be better. You’ll also find that you are able to reach out for better things with the adoption of a child.

Before you start considering an adoption, you may need to look at yourself. First, you have to decide if you are ready to be responsible for another person. You’ll also want to think about your patience. Children can be difficult, but can you handle it? Is there a way for you to figure this out without adoption? Try to baby-sit a younger child. Also, you may want to take some parenting classes. This way you will be able to save yourself some time, energy, and also figure out if a child could thrive in your current environment. 

Ken Mathie
Effective Parenting Skills
“How to Become the World’s Greatest Mom or Dad
Without Putting Yourself to Wit’s End In
Raising Happier Highly Successful Children!”
…more information click here

 

Defeat Childhood Obesity - Break Current Unhealthy Eating Habits

- they say it takes up to 21 to successfully break any bad habit and start a new good habit in it’s place

- step back and evaluate the kitchen, fridge, pantry, and cupboards

- what needs to stay and what needs to go

- make a shopping list of healthy selections and stick to it, the easy part is making the list - stitcking to it might be a bit more difficult but you will benefit greatly if you do

- take it one step at a time and don’t try to fix everything all at once, change and replace one habit at a time

- identify with the problem behaviors, is there a certain time of day overindulging seems to happen, stop and think about what’s going on during that time

- try changing the environment, sit at the table instead of in the living room, make the table, change the lighting, etc… mood and the meal have a direct effect on each other

- don’t make excuses for the behavior or habit, strive to change it and make a plan to do so

- reward good choices with stickers and praise, not with food

- set a goal and talk about what it will take to reach the goal, for example no junk food for a week, by the end of the week it will seem like such an easy thing to do for them that it won’t be a habit anymore

- keep a daily food journal together with your child marking what they ate, when they ate it, did they like it, how did they feel before and after they ate it.  Encourage them to participate in this activity with you.

Calories and Kids

- a child that habitually consumes 500 calories more than is burned each day will gain a pound of excess body fat in just a single week

- counting calories is generally not advised by nutritionists nor is it necessary for healthy children

- an active elementary school child can easily burn 2,000 calories in a day

- a less active child that doesn’t or can’t get outside to play as much might only burn 1,500

- kids eat differently than adults and are generally better at burning their calories throughout the day

- watch out for empty calories in your childs diet, soda, french fries, supersized fast food, etc…

Average Nutritional Recommendations for Children
- 1000 - 1400 for a 2 to3 year old
- 1400-1600 for a 4 to 8 year old
- 1600-2000 for girls 9 to 13 years old
- 1800-2200 for boys 9 to 13 years old
- 2000 for girls 14 to 18 years old
- 2200- for boys 14 to 18 years old

- the calories number isn’t nearly as important as where those calories come from, good calories in fruits and veggies versus bad calories in junk food and soda

- watch portion sizes and encourage moderation if you are worried about overeating

- if obesity becomes a problem seek a pediatrician or nutritionist’s help

Ken Mathie
EffectiveParentingSkills.com

Eat Healthy Be Active And Live Longer - Be an Example for Your Kids

If you currently do not eat a healthy diet, it can be difficult to start such a plan. However, healthy eating is important for maintaining bodily function and living a disease-free life. If you struggle with healthy eating, then you know that breaking unhealthy eating habits can be the most difficult part of the process. However, if you truly want your children and yourself to live the best lifestyle possible, it is important to follow tips in order to start eating a more healthy diet.

A good beginning step when you want to start eating more healthily is to rid you home of all foods that do not fit into healthy categories. Keep junk foods and beverages out of your house so that you will not be tempted to snack during the day. If you’re worried about getting hungry, keep healthy snacks like carrot sticks, yogurt, fresh fruit, or whole-wheat crackers on hand. If you find that you just cannot bear to toss out the sweets, try keeping something tiny on hand, like chocolate chips. Eating a few of these won’t ruin your diet but also will give you that little sugary fix you rave.

Be an Example for Your Kids Eating Habits

- kids learn by watching what adults do, your example is a priceless teaching tool

- include a variety of foods on your plate

- if you leave something off your plate talk about why, let them know its okay to not always like certain foods or if you’re allergic discuss that as well

- avoid junk foods like chips and soda and opt for healthy snacks like carrot sticks and 100% juice

- shop together, shopping is part of food preperation and a child can learn a lot in the produce section

- always wash your hands before handling food, and encourage your child to do the same

- when having sweets and treats like ice cream talk about moderation and portion sizes and not over eating, count scoops into the bowl, etc.

- avoid eating during television programs or in front of the television

- drink plenty of water each day

- have regular meals each day, if you skip lunch your child is likely to do the same

- take your time and chew your food, often adults are in a hurry and kids pick up on this habit as well

Childhood Obesity

-eating when they are bored.  Teach them not to eat while they are reading, watching tv, or playing video games

-food should not be used as a reward.  Use more proactive things such as a new book, shopping time, manicures or pampering,

-risk factors: diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure

-70-80% chance of being overweight as adults

-Involve the whole family in eating and exercise, do not single them out

-Make slow changes so they do not feel attacked and hide food

-no medications are approved for children

-praise frequently for healthy choices and exercise, stay away from all negative comments and connotations

-Set goals as a family, don’t make them scale related.  Go for days active

-have them pack lunches with you so they will have items they will eat, steer clear of school lunches

-not just a North American problem anymore http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4930264.stm

Calories and Kids

- a child that habitually consumes 500 calories more than is burned each day will gain a pound of excess body fat in just a single week

- counting calories is generally not advised by nutritionists nor is it necessary for healthy children

- an active elementary school child can easily burn 2,000 calories in a day

- a less active child that doesn’t or can’t get outside to play as much might only burn 1,500

- kids eat differently than adults and are generally better at burning their calories throughout the day

- watch out for empty calories in your childs diet, soda, french fries, supersized fast food, etc…

Average Nutritional Recommendations for Children
- 1000 - 1400 for a 2 to3 year old
- 1400-1600 for a 4 to 8 year old
- 1600-2000 for girls 9 to 13 years old
- 1800-2200 for boys 9 to 13 years old
- 2000 for girls 14 to 18 years old
- 2200- for boys 14 to 18 years old

- the calories number isn’t nearly as important as where those calories come from, good calories in fruits and veggies versus bad calories in junk food and soda

- watch portion sizes and encourage moderation if you are worried about overeating

- if obesity becomes a problem seek a pediatrician or nutritionist’s help

Get Kids Involved in Food Preparation

- for younger kids storybooks with cooking involved are a good place to start building an interest in helping

- ask questions and talk about what will happen when you do certain things, like chop something up, or put something in the oven … this gets their interest even if they aren’t doing the action themselves yet

- the simplest tasks can get even a toddle involved in food prep, stirring the macaroni, pouring the milk, etc

- clean up afterwards is a time when everyone can help as well

- gathering of ingredients is an important step and one that most kids can handle, “please bring me 3 carrots, and 2 sticks of celery” and a good beginning to helping out in the kitchen area

- teach them to make something that they can make with little help from you, a scrambled egg, a grilled cheese sandwich, a bowl of soup, a fruit salad, etc

- look for kids sized kitchen gear and alternate tools for little fingers, for example kids could use a rolling pizza cutter to cut up veggies instead of a big sharp knife

- get kids their own cookbook and let them choose a recipe, there are a variety of kids geared cookbooks on the market today to choose from

- let them experiment with different foods, textures, ingredients, combinations, sauces, dips etc…. even if you think something sounds gross and they want to try combining it let them try a small amount, it’s the best way to learn about foods

- don’t take over, as adults and parents we tend to want to do things for them when we see a little bit of a struggle or when we think they might not succeed,  try to take a different approach, stand back and be observant but don’t help unless they ask you too or if it’s with something sharp or extremely hot

Food Portioning

- remember that an adult portion, a teenager portion, a kids portion and a toddler portion are all very different things, this is often overlooked

- 2 ounces of meat on a child’s dinner plate is actually a good portion, it may look small but remember that your child is also small

- meals should be spread out throughout the day, many children are natural “grazers” and eat many small servings over the course of the day.  The reason they are naturally like isn’t a cooincidence, it’s mostly instinct and that’s how we’re supposed to eat during the day.  Unfortunately as adults we feel the need to “live by the clock”

- a good rule of thumb is that a portion should be no larger than the palm of your hand when placed on your plate, look at the palm of you hand, then look at the palm of your child’s hand - it’s a good visual reference for a serving size

- just because something says single serving on it doesn’t mean that it really is a single serving, it may be too much for some children in our “super sized” world

- place a few bites of each thing on the plate at dinner time, if they are still hungry they will ask for more

- when it comes to snack time it often helps to put the food into a snack size cup to actually see how much of something you are giving, crackers are a good example, its easy to overeat them out of the box but if you pour them into a bowl or cup it’s easier to find a proper portion some portion examples:

meat - 2 or 3 ounces cooked and cut up
chicken nuggets - 3 or 4 pieces
peanut butter - tablespoons
eggs - 1
milk - 8 ounce cup
yogurt - 4 to 8 ounces - a full cup might be too much, look for the smaller kids portions at the store or split in half and store the leftover half in the fridge for the next day or later
fruit 1/4 to 1/2 a cup of cubed up fruit
baby carrots - 8 baby carrot sticks is a fair sized portion for little fingers at snack time
cheese - 1 or 2 slices of american cheese

Ken Mathie
EffectiveParentingSkills.com